5 Favorite Non-Fiction Books

I’ve loved books even before I could read them myself and that love has only grown throughout my life. I used to go to the library every Saturday with my family while I was growing up. While I mostly read fiction when I was younger, in college I discovered a love for non-fiction books as well. Now that I’m a college graduate, I’ve been reaching mostly for non-fiction books, perhaps to fill a longing for the kind of intellectual engagement my class readings provided when I was a college student. While fictional books can be equally intellectually engaging, and my love of literature hasn’t wavered, I’ve found an appreciation and enjoyment for non-fiction books that discuss the intricacies of human experience and contemporary cultural phenomena, to aide me in my processing of the world I’m entering as a post-grad. This post features five of my favorite non-fiction books that have helped me grow in my understanding of myself, others, and contemporary culture, and were just as engaging as some of my favorite novels.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

I read this book in high school and it really helped me understand and appreciate my introversion, despite mainstream American society’s preference towards extroversion.

Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor

Appropriately, my mom read this book before recommending it to me. I love the way Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor each tell the story of their trip to Greece from their different perspectives, one as a mother turning 50 and the other as a new college graduate trying to find her path. I relate a lot to Ann, as a shy young adult learning to come out of her shell, and grappling with some setbacks.

Ways of Seeing by John Berger

If I had to credit my decision to major in Art History to any one specific thing, it would be this book. I read Ways of Seeing for an Art History course during the spring of my sophomore year, the time when I had to declare a major, and this book helped me realize that Art History and visual analysis can have such wide and poignant uses for social critique. Berger writes about subjects such as portrayals of women in art and the visual devises used in advertising. The book is chockfull of insightful passages and brilliantly written lines (and lots of pictures). It’s a quick read and a good way to get an idea of what Art History is about.

On Photography by Susan Sontag

This is another book I read for a class, Visually Anthropology. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in photography. Sontag provides an in depth analysis of photography as a medium and tool, that I can’t help but think about now when I take photos. Though written in the 70s, Sontag’s critique is just as relevant today even with the significant changes in technology.

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

I read this book a few months ago and I’ve already deemed it one of my favorites. I heard Roxane Gay speak at my college campus last fall, before knowing much about her, but after hearing her speak, I was eager to read Bad Feminist. In it, she explores various topics personal to her, on popular culture, and politics, with a lens on issues of gender, race, body image, and more. She analyzes and critiques sources such as the movie The Help and Sheryl Sanberg’s popular book Lean In. 

A Simple Fix for Greasy Hair (it’s not dry shampoo)

I first noticed greasiness in my hair about five years ago. It felt like buildup in one section of my hair that was there even after washing it. I did some research and decided that switching to sulfate free shampoo, might be the fix I needed. This launched me into years of trying various sulfate-free shampoos, experimenting with clarifying shampoos, apple cider vinegar rinses, dry shampoos, all without much luck. When I started college, things seemed to get better but was still inconsistent. Every time I got a hair cut, my hair would be rid of the greasy buildup, but it would gradually build up again. I asked the hairdresser I used in college and the one at home, and both suggested different things like washing my hair less frequently combined with dry shampoo or using a clarifying shampoo once a week, but nothing really solved my problem. My hair would only get worse when I was home from college, but it also seemed to magically get better when I was on vacation and washing my hair with hotel shampoos. I though maybe the hotel shampoos would work for me at home, but my hair still felt weighed down again when I was using them at home. After years of this, it finally dawned on me that my problem might not be with the shampoo I was using, but the water! Or more specifically, the water pressure. And sure enough, when I started showering in the guest bathroom in my house which has stronger pressure than my shower, my hair didn’t have buildup or greasiness after washing it.

I figured that the pressure in my shower was being slowed due to mineral buildup in the shower head over the years, so I unscrewed it and put it in a bowl of vinegar with a little water to dilute it and let it sit overnight. I also gave it a scrub with an old toothbrush. I put it back on the shower nozzle and it seems like I’ve finally solved my problem, five years later! I can’t believe it took me so long to figure this out and the fix was so simple and inexpensive all along.

Full Moon Friday

I’m drawn toward moon iconography, much the same way that the ocean tides are pulled to the moon. (I’m not entirely sure if that’s an accurate analogy; physics was not a subject I excelled in). The moon and womanhood have a long history of association, mostly due to the cyclical nature of the lunar phases and menstruation. While men were associated with the sun for much of history (think Apollo and King Louis XIV), and it’s no denying the sun’s importance, I’m partial to the more understated aura of the moon, that doesn’t need everything to revolve around it to be important. Here are a few moon items that make me happy for this full moon Friday.

I made this DIY moon wall hanging last summer and hung it from the wall in my senior year dorm room.

This moon phases scarf.

I just bought these sterling silver ear climbers on Etsy that I’d had in my shopping cart for over a year and I’m so glad I finally did!

This Moon is Feminist Art tank from this Etsy seller.

 

 

3 Favorite Natural Beauty Products

While I don’t exclusively use natural beauty products, I try to use natural products as much as possible without sacrificing quality or straining my budget. These are three of my favorite affordable and high-quality natural products that I’ve repurchased and will continue to repurchase because they’re that good. I can usually find them all for under $10! They’re also all cruelty-free. Instead of taking photos of them, I decided to take out my watercolors and paint them.

Heritage Store Rose Petals Rosewater – super refreshing to spritz on between cleansing and moisturizing, after applying makeup to get rid of any powdery-ness, and throughout the day to freshen up makeup or cool off on a warm day. The only ingredients are water and rose oil and it smells so good. The spray nozzle gives an even light spritz- sounds silly, but actually very key!

Acure Moroccan Argan Oil – an affordable 100% pure USDA organic argan oil. I use it at night and I really think it keeps my skin soft and supple. Argan oil contains vitamin E, which is supposed to help fade scarring. It gets bonus points for being sustainably harvested from a woman’s cooperative in Morocco!

Schmidt’s Deodorant Bergamot + Lime – I guess this is more of a “personal care” product rather than “beauty” but, regardless, it’s a fabulous product that I started using a year ago and haven’t looked back. It comes in a solid form in a little glass pot with a tiny spatula to scoop it out. It’s a bit strange to use- after scooping out a bit, I rub it between my fingers a little to warm it up and then apply under my arms. But I don’t mind the weird application, because it really works even in hot weather, and I don’t have to worry about putting aluminum or other icky ingredients that antiperspirant deodorants contain on my body. The bergamot and lime scent is by far my favorite of all the scents it comes in.

What the World Needs More of

Having graduated from college just four months ago and possessing the idealism and energetic desire to help make the world better that often accompanies that stage of life, yet also being confronted with all the terrible things that happened in the news this summer, I’ve been thinking a lot about what is needed to improve our world. I’ve come to realize how essential empathy is too that. The good in our world often comes from people empathizing with others, and much of the bad in our world comes from people failing to do so. Too often people get to positions of power by climbing over others, meaning they care only about themselves and their success. Once they are in power, these people tend to continue not to care about those less fortunate than themselves. People in power have a tendency to ignore or refuse to believe or care about the needs of others in positions of less power. These tendencies confound and perpetuate the stratification of society. However, when people in power do empathize with people in positions of less power, whether because they came from a similar position or simply care about and listen to the experiences of others, they can help create change.

I was talking to a good friend yesterday who I’ve known since childhood and the topic of feminism came up. She said that she doesn’t feel very strongly about feminism because she hasn’t experienced much in the way of sexism. Both of us are white women, from fairly wealthy upbringings, heterosexual, and able bodied. I responded to her comment by saying that while I have not experienced much sexism either, I know that many women who have fewer privileges than myself do experience a lot of hardship because of their gender and that’s why I care so much about feminism. After hearing my response, my friend said that I was a much better person than herself. While I don’t agree with her on that, I do think that her statement about feminism was a narrow and self-centered view. I don’t blame her for it, but I also think such a seemingly harmless way of thinking actually hints at a much larger problem in our society and a mindset that is far more common than it should be and can be very damaging, particularly when held by people in positions of power. It shows a lack of consideration of the needs and conditions of others, particularly those who experience more oppression and marginalization in society. It is important that we seek to listen to and learn from people whose experiences are different from our own.

During my senior year in college, with the uprising of students of color at schools across the country, I heard many people in response to the students of color say things like, “they’re being too sensitive.” Of course the people usually saying these things were privileged white people. My response to them was “How can you say that when you don’t experience what they experience? You can’t truly understand what it’s like to be a student of color, so it’s not your place to discredit what students of color are saying they experience.” It’s about empathizing, not ignoring or criticizing what others say, but listening and caring about their experiences, and then trying to help.

While I’ve read many stories this summer that threaten my hopeful attitude, I have also heard many stories that strengthen my belief that empathy is key in solving the major problems in our society. One of my favorites was an episode of the NPR podcast Invisibilia “Flip the Script”which tells stories that show that the most effective way to confront hostility is not with a return of hostility, but instead with compassion and kindness.

It seems so simple- consider others, listen to others, care about others, do what you can to help others- yet it can be a radical and powerful act.

What’s in my School Bag

Although I’m sadly not currently a student, I made this post when I was still in college, but didn’t post it. I thought I would post it now that the new school year is starting.

My everyday school bag is a Madewell Transport tote (you can get a student discount if you buy it in store with a student ID). It’s a big bag made of thick leather that holds its shape well, so it makes a great school bag. It has one small pocket on the inside where I can fit my phone and a few other things for quick access. Here’s what I always keep inside it.

The essentials: sunglasses in a kantha pouch, my phone with a Rifle Paper Co. case, a small Madewell wallet, hand cream, headphones, a hair tie, my favorite everyday lip products: Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm in Hibiscus, Burt’s Bees Pomegranate lip balm, and Revlon Just Kissable balm stain in Honey (having all three is not essential), and my key and student ID card on a wrist strap from Everlane. I keep the small things in the pocket of the bag.

School things: My Moleskin planner and a pen, a pencil pouch with lots of pens, pencils, and highlighters. I didn’t take a photo of my notebooks and folders because I don’t always carry them with me, but when I’m going to class I bring a notebook and any books or printed readings I need for the class. I also sometimes bring my laptop with me and it fits in the bag.

The “just in case” things (which I keep in the little pouch): An Ecotools concealer brush and a sample of concealer in case I want to touch up, a pill box with Aleve and Advil Cold & Sinus, Peter Thomas Roth Brush on Sunscreen (great for reapplying SPF when I’m wearing makeup), a mini hairbrush/mirror, a  pantyliner, EO spray hand sanitizer in peppermint, a travel size LaVanilla The Healthy Deodorant, gum.

 

 

College Tips for Introverted or Shy Students

As the start of the first school year that I will not be a part of approaches and my brother heads off to his first year of college, I’ve been thinking about my college experience as an extreme introvert and shy student and how I was able to overcome a lot of the challenges I faced during the first couple years. I know that students like myself can find it hard to ask others about their experience and I remember looking for resources on being shy in college and not finding a whole lot. I decided to compile a few of my tips on how to get the most out of your college experience and blossom into a more confident adult.

On Campus:

1. Don’t be afraid to take up space on campus- it’s yours too. Study in public spaces. Going to school in Southern California, I loved studying outside but for my first couple years I would only study in secluded courtyards because I was afraid to take up space on campus and be surrounded by so many other people. However, by my senior year I spent most of my studying time during the day in the main courtyards on campus that are the heart of campus, near the dining hall, coffee shop, and mail room and I felt like more a part of the community. I would see people from my classes and chat about our upcoming assignments, run into acquaintances and go to meals together, and otherwise form or strengthen connections with other students.
2. Take initiative to make connections with other students.  Invite people to study with you in different places on campus, to get meals, go to the nearby town, go to an on campus event, etc. In my first and second years of college I spent a lot of time waiting around to get invited to do things with people because I was scared to initiate things, but I wish I had pushed myself to invite other people. College students aren’t always good about taking initiative even if they’re not shy or introverted, so be the one who does. Reach out to fellow introverts who may be more hesitant to take the initiative you are. They’ll really appreciate your gesture and you’ll gain confidence in your own social skills.

In Class:

1. Go to professor’s office hours early in the semester. This wasn’t always something I was good about doing, but it’s really helpful. If you’re like me, the pressure of participating in class was one of my main academic challenges in college. I had a lot of trouble feeling confident enough in my ideas to share them in the classroom. One thing that I found helped was going to professors’ office hours early in the semester. Find a question to ask or a concern to discuss with your professor, it could even be just to let the professor know that you have trouble speaking in class. What’s most important is to have a one on one conversation with your professors. I found when I did this I felt more comfortable with the professor and in their class and was able to participate in class more easily. 

Returning from Study Abroad: Losing and Rediscovering my Self Confidence

The saying “I left my heart in x location” gets tossed around so frequently that it’s become a cliché, but after returning from my semester of study abroad in Florence, Italy, I genuinely felt as if I had left some part of myself there and I was left feeling like I had reverted back to the version of myself I had been before my semester abroad, filled with self-doubt and hindered by my fears. I had been so happy to discover myself opening up in Florence, leaving my inhibitions behind and becoming a much more outgoing and confident person. I remember thinking that when I got back home, I would be able to do so much more, things I would have never considered doing before because they seemed too scary and I didn’t believe I could do them, but in Italy, I no longer felt those fears, or at least believed in myself enough to face them. When I first arrived home, I felt confident that I could retain these skills I had fostered while abroad, but after a few weeks at home, I realized I no longer felt the same. It was as if the confident and independent version of myself could only exist abroad and I had left her there when I flew back to the U.S. I went to apply for summer jobs and felt very unsure of myself. I got a job at a boutique, but I felt intimidated by the customers and my fellow employees (some of whom were three years younger than me). I acted meek and insecure. I could sense myself acting that way and I hated it, but I also didn’t know how to change it, how to rediscover the boldness I had felt abroad.

I went through a period of feeling a deep loss, for my time in Florence and the person I was there and the way I had felt. I cried frequently and felt lethargic. It was heartbreaking to think that all that I had gained in Italy, I had lost so quickly. However, things started looking better towards the end of the summer. I had a conversation with a close friend who had also been abroad and was also feeling down and missing study abroad. I told her about my feelings of loss of confidence and her response was so thoughtful and comforting. She said that I might not be feeling as confident now, but I knew I had it in me because I did have it in Italy. I can be that person again, I just needed to work on redeveloping it, but it would probably be easier this time since I’ve done it before. I frequently reminded myself of her words when I needed reassurance. And the exciting thing was, I did feel myself regaining the confidence. By the end of my summer job, I trained a new employee, who was much older than me and I found myself able to talk to her comfortably. I was also talking to customers and other people in my life with more self assurance. I was excited to go back to my college and take on my senior year.

However, when I arrived back at school, I struggled to express that confidence because people there only knew me as I was before going abroad. I found myself falling into my old habits of insecurity because I knew that was what they expected of me. It was only around my close friends that I could be as uninhibited and confident as I was abroad. I rebelled as much as I could against reverting back to how I was before studying abroad, because I could now see how much that former version of me had limited myself. It felt like I had so many more friends in my study abroad program than at my home campus, where my social anxiety had held me back from connecting with more than a handful of people and had limited me from maintaining some of the connections I had formed. However, my close friends reassured me that I seemed more confident than I had been before study abroad. This was very comforting to hear because it was hard for me to tell how I seemed from the outside. After hearing this from my friends and continually reminding myself that if I can be myself candidly and openly, people tend to like me, I was quickly able to begin feeling like I was connecting with more people, even reconnecting with people I had known freshman year, but hadn’t stayed friends with. I began sharing my experiences and personal thoughts with my friends and sometimes even with people I didn’t know that well, something I never would have done before my semester abroad. I felt myself being more open with others, something I had learned to do in Italy, and like in my study abroad program, people seemed to respond well to my openness, candidness, and honesty. In the past, I had always been so shy, scared to let my personality out for fear of what it might reveal and what others might think, but in Florence, I had discovered that people tend to like me for the person I am. When I let myself relax around people and be myself, people respond much better to that than when I hide who I am. In the past, I had struggled with even knowing who I was, but in becoming more social, I learned so much about who I was at the same time as I was becoming that person. I guess the personality was always in me, but I never allowed others to see it, and in doing that, I prevented myself from really understanding who I was either.

Because humans are social beings, I think our identity is determined partly in how we interact with others and how they perceive us. I learned a lot about myself from how my friends in my study abroad program thought of me, and they seemed to tend think much more highly of me than I did. This new self understanding brought me so much more confidence than I had ever had before. I found that even people at my school seemed to respond well to my openness and seemed to fairly quickly accept my more friendly nature, despite the fact that it might not be what they expected from me based on how they had thought of me before I went abroad. Once I felt freed in this way, I began to feel happier because I felt better about myself. Every little interaction I had with someone, that may have been a tiny bit scary for me, brought me so much joy. I would walk away from these interactions feeling much more buoyant because I felt like I did in Italy, assured that the socially confident part of me was still there and filled with the happiness that connection with others brings.

I’m so fortunate that something as simple as believing in myself, which I have control over is really all it takes to completely transform the way I am for the better, and to relieve myself of the handicap I’ve placed on myself all my life. The experience of coming back after a semester abroad and learning how to readjust may have been just as valuable to my personal development and self understanding as the experience of studying abroad itself.

Women and Consumerist Culture

cardboard mascara I made in a workshop with artist Bill Barminski to comment on consumerist culture

As I transitioned from girlhood into womanhood, society barraged me with messages that shopping (read: consumerism) should become a major aspect of my life. This phenomenon is grounded in America’s history and capitalist economy. At the start of the 20th century in the U.S., consumerism was booming and department stores were developing. Department stores were sometimes referred to as ‘Adamless Edens,’ [1] suggesting that they were spaces for women to spend money that their husbands had made and the idea of shopping as a pastime was emerging. This ideology of man as doer and maker and women as spender and consumer unfortunately persists to some degree today. Shopping is a stereotypical favorite activity of teenage girls and women and it becomes an important aspect of many women’s lives, but I think it is important that we continue to push back against this notion and continue to prove that women can make and do just as well as men and we will not be tricked by the notion that our talents lie in shopping and consuming.

During high school, as much as I hate to admit it, I became a ‘product junkie,’ a horrible phrase likening consumerism to a drug addiction. But there is some truth to the comparison. Like drugs take control of one’s mind and body, our consumerist society can take control of us. In a capitalist economy, the functioning of daily society relies on consumerism. As women have been designated to the main role of consumer, this expectation of consumption falls on women. However, we are encouraged to consume far more than is necessary for our daily lives and for the functioning of our economy. This culture of encouraged consumption primarily preys on the insecurities of the female half of the population, first creating the insecurities (making us think our appearances are of utmost importance and that they’re not good enough as they are) and then offering a remedy to these insecurities. But of course, these products we consume don’t really fix the problems. The insecurities are like a wound that society (largely marketing industries) inflict and the products they offer for our consumption are only a band-aid that temporarily mask the problem rather than healing it.

Teenage girls and young women are especially prone to these inflictions of insecurities as they go through rapid changes both physically, emotionally, and socially as they discover who they are. In high school, I became obsessed with makeup and clothing. I felt that consuming these products (and the right ones) would help make more people like me and would make me happier. I knew that if I could become a more confident person and loved myself more that would be even better, but making myself happier with my appearance was an easier and faster remedy. Of course, these are the messages that society and ad agencies had brainwashed me with. I felt better about how I looked when I started wearing makeup in my freshman year of high school, but I still had insecurities and makeup quickly became more than just a small step in my morning routine. I became seduced by buying new products and growing my makeup collection. I loved going to the store with my friends and picking out new products that I had spent time researching in YouTube reviews and blog posts. I felt like I was spending my money wisely because I had done my research, but I didn’t think about the fact that I was buying far more products than I needed and only because watching these YouTube videos and reading these blogs was telling me I should consume more and more.

Of course, not only can this avid consumerism have detrimental effects to us personally, but the consumption also contributes to problems concerning the environment. To continually consume the earth’s resources puts strains on our environment. Our economy often does not seem concerned with the consequences it has on our environment, but this a very pressing problem.

When I started college, my dad gave me a wise piece of advice. He told me to spend my money on experiences, not things. No matter the cost, experiences will enrich your life so much more than buying products can. This is a philosophy that I fully embraced during my semester of study abroad. I hardly did any shopping except to get a few souvenirs from the places I visited. I spent my money instead on the experiences of traveling around Europe, visiting museums and other sites, and eating delicious meals with friends. Spending on these experiences instead of things helped me get the most out of my time abroad, have more adventures that helped shape who I am, and more stories to share with others. Now that I’m back in the U.S., I try to continue some of these habits I has abroad, of consuming less and doing more.

Our consumerist society assaults us with messages telling us our life will be better if we purchase more products, it can take first the awareness of the manipulative nature of these messages, and then some will power  to turn away from them and instead work to find happiness and self-love from more intangible sources. I can still enjoy buying new things from time to time, but the enjoyment will be much greater and feel like more of a treat than a necessity if I purchase new things less often and don’t purchase things because of an insecurity I want to remedy.

[1] Pohl, Framing America, 331

Navigating the Cosmetic Aisles

When I shop for beauty products, whether at a drugstore, a speciality store, or a department store, I often find myself feeling like my eyes can’t focus on any one thing. I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated by the sheer number of products lining the shelves and all the flashy packaging designed to catch my attention. There are also so many lofty claims written on products, but it’s no secret that those hold little weight. There’s minimal regulation on what companies can say about their products. One could easily go to a store looking for a moisturizer for dry skin and pick up a product that claims to be that, but there’s a high chance that that product won’t be as hydrating as it claims and might even contain ingredients that could irritate the skin or block pores.

Since I knew I couldn’t trust company claims, I used to rely on looking up online reviews to help me decide on what products to buy, but even customer reviews can only be so useful because everyone’s skin is so different. I once purchased a moisturizer that had a lot of really positive reviews on Sephora’s wesbite, but after I started using it, while it did moisturize my skin, I started breaking out too. After doing some research, I discovered it contained quite a few comedogenic ingredients (meaning they can block pores). I seemed to be more sensitive to those ingredients and their comedogenic nature than many other reviewers.

I eventually discovered Paula’s Choice, a website that offers reviews on many of the cosmetic products on the market that are based on scientific research on a chemical level. So far, it’s is the best resource I’ve come across to find good beauty products that you can trust will work and won’t irritate or harm your skin. Paula’s Choice also makes their own products, but it still offers unbiased reviews of many other brands. While they will recommend their own products, they also recommend so many other brands’ products. I’ve been able to find many products that have worked really well for me, using their beautypedia site. You can search for specific products and see how they’re rated or search for products under categories to find the best one to fit your concerns. Because the cosmetic industry is so unregulated and companies can get by using fictitious claims and even harmful ingredients, it’s important to look to external sources for scientific, unbiased reviews.